When Heather started as a prison mentor five years ago, she had some reservations. “I thought a women’s prison must be the scariest place on earth. And if it’s the scariest place for me, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to actually be in prison.”
After completing volunteer training with M2/W2, Heather toured Fraser Valley Institution (FVI) as part of her orientation with Correctional Service of Canada (CSC). She found her preconceptions of prison weren’t necessarily true of FVI. “I was surprised by how safe I felt,” she said. “There was more space than I realized.”
Heather’s early days of volunteering weren’t without their challenges. “At first it was hard,” she said. “After I met with my match, I got to leave. She was confined.”
Journeying with Others Through the Years
Since 2017 Heather has been matched with three different women at FVI. After her first match was released, Heather was paired with Holly (not her real name), who has also been released. Last year, when FVI re-opened briefly to volunteers, Heather began meeting with a third woman.
While Heather is just getting to know her new match, and has fond memories of her first match (“She is doing really well. Got a good job and a good guy… She seems to have solid support.”) it’s her relationship with Holly that stands out.
“I remember meeting Holly and walking away thinking this will never work. The only thing we have in common is that we are women, created by God.”
With time, however, that all changed. “I became a mother figure in her life,” Heather said. “She became a daughter figure to me.”
I love the simplicity of it…
You just show up, be kind, and get to know somebody.
Heather had one other thing in common with her matches: experience with substance use disorder. Heather, a recovering alcoholic, has been sober for 33 years. She walked with Holly as she began her journey to recovery. When Holly was at a treatment facility, Heather visited her and took her outside for a few hours at a time. They even attended church together.
“I’m thankful that she has faith,” Heather said.
Holly is getting married this spring, and she invited Heather to the wedding. Heather is happy to see the progress in Holly’s life. “She has a solid job. She owns her own vehicle. She attends AA,” Heather said. “The first year on the outside was a struggle and we would talk a lot. Now that she’s found some stability we chat or text about twice a month.”
Why Volunteer?
Most folks in prison have few people supporting them on the outside. Heather volunteers because it’s a chance to build a consistent relationship with someone who might not have one. “I get to be a healthy, responsible person in their life, an outside support.”
Heather also appreciates the straightforward process of being a prison mentor. “I love the simplicity of it—once you get through the background checks and paperwork, once you get your match, you just have to show up, be kind, and get to know somebody.”
If you want to volunteer, check out our application form. Or explore our website for information on volunteer opportunities and training.
This story appears in our Spring 2022 newsletter.