It is HARD! I am plugging through, though. There are good days and not so good days. Days when I want to scream “Enough with this craziness! When will this end?” Worries wash over me and drag me down and down.
And then, I take a walk and feel free… Free to breathe. Free to enjoy the fragrance in the air, the wind caressing my face, the warmth of the sun, the delightful colours of the spring flowers, the fresh greens.
I put some seeds in the ground. I watch the dirt. Will anything come out?
I think, Will anything good come out of all this craziness? And I pray some more. I give more of my helplessness to you, God. And it helps. The edges of me get smoother.
Lord, I don’t know what to do about this client of mine. I want to help but I can’t be there. She’s withdrawing, going through her “own stuff.” Lord, only You can provide for her. I try, but it feels like my tries fall dead.
It’s frustrating! Internet connection lost. Zoom out of the meeting, Zoom back in after losing part of the discussion.
Then, good news comes from one of the volunteers! Both of her matches are doing well in the community! One is a student. The other is working and getting stronger in her faith. Isn’t this great? Our works pays off in the end! We see results! It’s you, God, doing your work through our volunteers!
I write more notes; make phone calls, texts; attend online meetings; read articles, do some more entries… and worries wash over me again.
Then I get up and mix “a little bit of this and a little bit of that” with some spices. The fragrance in the air is inviting. “Come have dinner!” We sit down together, and I am well again.
It’s time to celebrate! Thinking back when life was good. God, You are good to me. You have us in Your hands.
Don’t worry child. I will carry you through this as I have for many years.
And I calm down. I am able to ENJOY LIFE some more.
LD is a Volunteer Coordinator and NOLA Case Manager with M2/W2 Association.