By John Wikkerink
When I first started volunteering with M2W2 in 1985, I never imagined I would still be visiting people in prison more than 40 years later. Since then, I've met countless people, developed friendships that lasted decades, and witnessed changes in people's lives that I can only describe as miracles.
Today, I continue to serve as a prison mentor and volunteer coordinator. Looking back, I'm grateful for the people I've met and the experiences we've shared. Some have been deeply rewarding, while others have tested my patience and faith in ways I never expected.
Through it all, I've learned some valuable lessons about prison mentorship, about people, and about myself. I'd like to share five of them with you, along with a simple way to learn more about becoming a mentor, if you’re interested.
1. You Can't Fix Everything Yourself
One of the hardest lessons I learned came early in my ministry, around 1987 or 1988. I was mentoring a man in prison and doing everything I could to help him find a job on the outside. I put so much effort into helping him that the stress eventually caught up with me. I managed to get him a job, but I also ended up in the hospital with a bleeding ulcer.
I remember lying in my hospital bed, staring at the ceiling. During that time, I felt God repeatedly telling me, "John, you don't have to do this yourself. Please, we can do it together."
That experience changed the way I approached prison ministry. I realised that I couldn't carry every burden or solve every problem on my own. I needed to trust God with the things that were beyond my control. So, prayer became part of my ministry. Before visiting someone in prison, I spend time praying and committing the visit to God. Our responsibility as mentors is to be faithful in what we do and trust Him with the outcome.
2. Small Acts of Kindness Mean More Than You Realise
Over the years, I've heard many stories about the difficult circumstances people in prison experienced growing up. Some endured things in the first six to ten years of their lives that I can hardly imagine. My own childhood was far from perfect, but listening to those stories made me grateful for what I had.
It also helped me understand people whose lives had taken a very different direction from mine. Our circumstances shape us deeply, and it’s important to understand where someone is coming from before making assumptions about them. Learning to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes goes a long way to fostering strong relationships.
Another thing that surprised me was how much the smallest gestures mean. Sometimes I would do something for someone or buy them something that seemed insignificant to me, but to them, it meant the world. If you ever mentor someone inside or outside of prison, never underestimate the value of simple kindness.
3. The Best Relationships Are Built Over Time
One of the most meaningful relationships I've had through M2W2 was with a man named Paul. I mentored him for 21 years, right up until he passed away.
When I first met Paul, I honestly didn't know what to do with him. He was living with serious mental health challenges, and I wasn't sure how our relationship would develop. But I kept visiting him, remaining faithful to that commitment. Over time, our relationship deepened to the point that Paul became part of my family.
My wife and I have four daughters. Paul spent a great deal of time with them in our home. At first, the girls weren't entirely comfortable with the arrangement. But as they grew older and got to know him, they came to accept him as part of the family. They also began to understand why their dad spent so much time visiting people in prison and caring for those who had experienced difficult circumstances.
When I think about Paul today, I remember how much that relationship meant to both of us. After his death, I had the opportunity to scatter his ashes in the Pacific Ocean. I never could have anticipated that when we first met.
Paul taught me that relationships take patience and perseverance. You don't always know what will come from showing someone consistent care, but I've seen how meaningful those relationships can become.
4. Mentorship Changes the Mentor, Too
When people talk about prison mentorship, they naturally focus on what volunteers can do for people in prison. But after more than 40 years, I can tell you that the experience has changed me as well. I've learned patience through setbacks and disappointments. I've gained a greater understanding of people whose experiences are very different from mine. And I've learned to recognise the significance of progress that might seem small to someone looking in from the outside.
I've also been encouraged by the other volunteers I've met through M2W2. Some of my favourite memories are of the Christmas gatherings, barbecues, and dinners where volunteers came together. We would share stories about the people we were visiting, the challenges we faced, and the encouraging things we had witnessed. Those friendships and conversations helped me keep going through difficult times. Even after four decades, I still find encouragement in hearing what other volunteers are experiencing.
When I consider everything this ministry has taught me, I can sincerely say I'm a far better person now than I was when I started.
5. The Most Important Thing You Can Do Is Show Up
If I could sum up what I've learned over the past 40 years, it would be this: keep showing up.
I've experienced setbacks, disappointments, and situations where I didn't know what to do next. There have been times when progress seemed painfully slow. But I've also witnessed remarkable changes in people's lives, sometimes in ways I never expected. My faith has taught me that I don't need to know exactly what God will do in a relationship. I just need to be willing to show up and do my part.
Today, as a volunteer coordinator at a correctional institution, I'm regularly reminded of how many people are looking for that kind of connection. There are men in prison who come up to me and ask, "Have you got anybody for me?" They want someone to visit them, someone who will listen and take an interest in their lives.
And often, I don't have a volunteer available for them. That's one of the things I hope will change as M2W2 continues its work. I would love to see more people become prison mentors so that those requests can be answered sooner.
I know the volunteer application process can take time. There are requirements to meet and procedures to follow before you can enter a correctional institution. But I encourage people who are interested to stick with it. Once you're inside and begin building a relationship, you'll understand why it's worth the effort.
What I've Learned After 40 Years
When I look back on my years with M2W2, I think about the people I've known, the friendships I've developed, and the lessons God has taught me along the way. I've learned to listen more carefully, to appreciate small acts of kindness, to be patient when change takes time, and that I can't solve everyone's problems. Most importantly, I've learned the value of remaining faithful to a commitment, even when I can't see where it will lead.
As M2W2 continues this work for decades to come, my greatest wish is that the people in prison who are waiting for a volunteer will find someone willing to visit them and offer encouragement and hope. If you've ever considered becoming a prison mentor, I'd encourage you to give it a try. You may be surprised by the relationships you develop and what you learn along the way. After more than 40 years, I certainly have been.
People in prisons across British Columbia are asking for mentors. Through M2W2, you can offer friendship, encouragement, and a consistent presence to someone who needs it. If you’re interested, M2W2 has a series of short training videos that will give you a better picture of what it means to be a mentor. I encourage you to give them a watch.
You could be the person someone in prison is waiting for.
